Chaotic

Amaran: Entri ini mengandungi terlampau banyak ayat-ayat emosi. Harap tak ter-affect mood anda

                                                                                                                                             

Hi, Assalammualaikum and Selamat Sejahtera 

   First of all, I can sense that this is such a boring entry. So, if you are pondering whether to read this or not, you better not to. Plus... if you really want to read this entry in the first place, you wouldn't be considering it now. Ok enough with the emotional vibes. hahah.

  I am currently thinking why am I being so emotional in these few days. Maybe it's because of the hormones. Why do we have to have hormones...? Ish. Okay, I think I could guess which phase I am standing right now; Cold-hearted yet fragile.

  Ever feel like you're alone when you are in a crowded party...? Contemplating at people, rather than joining them...? Being chaotic when you know that you gotta find the answers, but you set yourself being stationary...?

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  Okay, so i think it has been like... 6 months i've been studying in the class with no neighbour (i mean beside me, theres a chair and a table, but no one seats there). At first, I was really scared. Not being scared of being alone, but scared of... everything that is started with "What if..." questions. 

  But Alhamdulillah, nothing terrifying had happened to me. It's not that 'nothing' means really NOTHING but... I can handle them lah for sure. heheh. 

  This circumstance really reminds me of my childhood memories. Where I used to go for recess alone. Watching my classmates playing the "tiang" game ( "Tiang" game; you have to select your "tiang", and there is one beruk, this game is alike game "Monyet-Monyet") while standing near to them as I gave them so many hints I wanted to join them. Oh what a magical day would it be if I get to play with them..

  But there's this one time I volunteered myself, really wanna join them playing, but I got rejected. Why? Wallahualam. Rejections are making our life seems unfair, right ? :p

   BUT my current classmates are not treating me like that la. They don't differentiate me with others. Plus, they don't even play "Tiang" game pun what. hahah

***

  And by this circumstance, I really know what does friendship means. It is not just being a clique, having the same thoughts. It is more than that. 

  And how I wish time could travel backwards... I miss each of them. One of them are far away from us, yet she is still the closest one. While the rest, very near, but the different schedules really makes us further apart. Rindu Nik... Raiza... Yana... Ain...

  Last night I checked (another word for stalked hahaha) Nik's blog... Rindunya aku dengan kau... Having a long flashback of our memories, since we're 13 till now. It is true about people saying that how long you have been friends with your friend does not measure the price of the friendship. The memories itselves do 

 That is okay i guess... At one point, us, will be united again and remain ;-)

                                                                                                                                        

  

  Thanks for reading, Assalammualaikum